Chicago’s weather seems to reflect my ever changing state today. A dash of sun provides some hope. Then the rain starts again, mirroring the many quiet waves of feelings within me. Finally, just the gray sky that symbolizes a kind of holding between conditions. My mind wanders between “all the things left to do” to “what is to come on the path ahead?” A rather odd “knowing” looms that tells me that I have little idea what will happen next.

With the completion of the Estate Sale last weekend (and the unplanned after sale this weekend), it is quiet here in this place where I live. Once my amazing sanctuary, this place is now more like a space reflecting a pending change. Many of belongings that remain unsold or ungifted bear price tags and sit in rooms where they were never meant to be. All around me is the evidence of my life past, memories of beautiful friendships and love, glimpses of the many times in my life when I was required to start over. All and all it feels as if everything is waiting to be gone – waiting to be transformed into pieces of my life held only in my heart.

This process of leaving Chicago and stepping more fully onto my true Path remains just as enchanting as it is challenging. I can feel the fear in some around me...will I be OK? In others I sense excitement and sometimes even envy. As I continue being asked over and over about my destination, I sometimes find myself struggling to remember that I don’t NEED an answer. I am sad that the expectations of our times often push us into pigeon holes. I am grateful that I have come to believe in my ability to take care of me so that I don’t need a pigeon hole anymore.

Am I feeling melancholy? Perhaps.

Am I scared? I don’t think so.

Am I blessed? Absolutely!

This little gal from Kansas has come a long way – from a girl who once upon a time believed she didn’t fit anywhere or didn’t matter – to a woman who is reaching to embrace her destiny..........and feeling very loved.